Monday, March 14, 2011

perfection

one of the many things i struggle with is getting things done... i've mentioned it before, though, so that's not anything new... what's interesting is that i've really never been a good "get it done" sort of person... it's probably because i put too much on my plate, and i set myself up for failure without really meaning to do so... likewise, when i make "to do" lists, i never put everything that i need to do on the list... for example, you'll never see things like vacuum, laundry, dishes, mopping, walk the dogs, or pay the bills on my to-do list... and, of course, all of those things get done without me writing it on a slip of paper. :) well, sweet Hannah's arrival has really made me feel like a failure when it comes to getting things done... it takes me forever to do something that shouldn't take 10 minutes, it seems... writing a thank you note, for example, has been a challenge... :) filling out a sympathy card for a friend took me 2 days... really?! 2 days... vacuuming the floor...my brain and eyes (and the bottom of Katherine's socks! :( ) realize it needs to be done, but it takes me a few days to actually GET to do it... sweeping the kitchen floor, which is littered with who knows what...it's been on the list for more than a week...and swiffering it (it really needs to be mopped, but i settled for swiffering it this time! :)) took me a few days, too... i'm not a peticular housekeeper, trust me...my house is lived in, without a doubt. it's not at all neat and tidy. but when me, my 2 dogs, husband, and 2 1/2 year old could probably invite a few cows in from the pasture behind our house, and they'd feel at home, i know i have things i NEED to do... :) while i don't EVER claim to desire perfection, i guess, deep down, completing the things on a "to-do" list would mean i did what i was supposed to do... i don't know if i'd call it perfection, but...if we stretched the term perfection a bit, perhaps it would fit? most people tell me to not worry about things like this... i understand the message, but it doesn't always go into the depths of my brain for true realization. the best advice i got was from another very special teacher i know, Cora... she's the momma to 3 children, the youngest who just turned 18, i believe... and she's one of those people who you could just sit in a room with and soak her in...her quiet, peaceful nature is so soothing, and she's so incredible...a genius, without a doubt...and so wise... her message really hit home... it had the words and message that i needed to hear...and it also helped me realize that i was expecting a little too much of myself... when i was questioning and shouting accolades up about how moms and dads to multiple children do it, her response soothed this soul... :) maybe it will hit home for you, too... Part of the secret is to let perfectionism go. I used to be kind of a perfectionist, if anyone who knows me now can believe that. After two [children], I released many of my perfectionist tendencies. After three, I shredded whatever perfectionist tendencies remained, burned 'em in a bonfire and danced around it maniacally . . . then drank a toast to (in)sanity (either way, it's all good) and survival. Here's to your sanity and survival. Here's to embracing the insanity when it happens b/c sometimes fond memories are actually forged in insanity. . . and here's to no more worrying about pj's past noon! ♥ Hug your girls. Some day they will understand how lucky they are that God made you their momma. In the mean time, don't forget to save a hug or two for yourself every now and then. :-) ♥

1 comments:

Lori said...

Beautiful comment at Clover Lane, I applaud you and wish you the very best! It just kinda made me sad you had to wonder about the world and its ugliness as you held your newborn daughter, sad but true! The world is moving far to fast in the wrong direction! Lori