crying...missing...mourning...

I had to go back to work this week... While it wasn't as bad as I anticipated (there are a few reasons why), I still like being at home with Katherine more than I like being at work. I miss her like crazy when I'm at work, although I try not to think about it that much...
I didn't openly cry when she had to leave on Monday morning... I had done enough crying the week before... There's nothing like a grown woman sitting on the bathroom floor ripping 4 or 5 squares of toilet paper, blowing her nose, dabbing her eyes...and then doing the same thing over and over again for almost 2 hours. Yes, that was me... Sad...I know... I did get teary-eyed in the morning before we left the house. I have to get up at around 5:30 or 5:45...and I had everything ready to go by around 7:10, so I had some time to just hold and cuddle with K. That's when I got really sad... BUT, I didn't cry a lot b/c I knew I'd have to redo my make up and do a lot of explaining once I got to school... :)
So, why is it not as bad as I anticipated...? First, I'm a teacher, so there's NEVER a moment of dullness or a lull in the day... It's literally busy from the time I walk in the door until I see my baby's smiling face around 3 PM. I also have THE BEST sitter in the world. Mrs. S was the perfect choice, and we feel so incredibly blessed that she was willing to take Katherine into her own home and love her like she's her own baby. And, every day, Mrs. S says how much of a joy the day has been, and I know K loves her... So, while my heart hurts to leave her, at least I know she's being loved and cared for... :)

Nevertheless, that women's jail in California is looking pretty good right about now... I saw on Lock-Up (on MSNBC) that they have a "mothers" area for women who are incarcerated... Basically, the woman gives birth and is allowed to keep her baby with her until the baby is 12 months old. I don't know what happens after the baby gets to be 12 months (it goes to live w/ a family member, maybe?)... But, I'm still trying to figure out how me, a law abiding citizen, is still working and spending 7 hours a day away from my pride and joy...and a woman in jail can have her baby with her... Anyone up for robbing a bank with me??? :) Let me know, I'll make our plane reservations to CA and we'll be off in no time... :)